Missing you a lot today

So I decided on Gifts for the Girls and Mom, for Christmas.

You remember that last photo shoot yall had together? in your yard?

Yeah I saw that each of the girls got to have a picture with you just the two of you in them.

So I am having them printed out and put into frames, and I"m sending them to them for Christmas.

I really hope they treasure these photos.

I especially adore the one of you and Annie making those funny faces hahah! it was the quintessential essence of yall's relationship. Open, Loving, and filled with Laughter <3.

I am not posting what Mom's is, because IDK if I can get it done in time. I'll be sending her a few pictures too, but the main gift is still iffy.

But since I decided to do that, I figured I'd do it with others in the family as well, I need to go get 50 frames, ( Good will ahhh yeah!) to fill with all these pictures.

I got some for me, Mom, AC, the Girls, Steven, and Corey.

I really hope that these gifts are received with the love they were made with.

Dammit Daddy I miss you so much today. I'm in tears, can't stop crying.

It's the holidays, the first holidays I'm not going to be able to call you and wish you a happy thanksgiving, or a Merry Christmas...

ugh.

Hope you are well up there.

Love,

Me

cooking :)

So yall know I have been trying to be healthier, part of that is cooking my own food.

Right now I have black beans soaking over night, the rice I will be taking for the week is cooling with the lid on, the waffles I premade are frozen and ready, and I am trying my hand at making wheat bread at home for the first time ever! It's a honey wheat too! I hope it turns out :)

Before I did all of that I cleaned the entire kitchen, from the counters down, dishes, floors, counters, fridge, stove, all of it cleaned up... Good times :)

Been really great with my food diary too. Happy to say that I am doing well! Yay!

Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.4

Stitch'N'Bitch north Austin chapter, being founded by.......

Allison Brewer and I are starting the North Austin Stitch'n'bitch!!! I am so excited :) we haven't registered with stitchnbitch.org yet because we want to scout out the best place to do it. So far we have met three times, all at *it's a grind* on parmer lane, terrible service, loud blenders, annoying teenaged baristas... But they have wingbacked padded chairs!!! The most amazing invention ever, try knitting one time in a wing backed chair that is properly stuffed, you will be caught for life, they are that amazing :)
So Sunday we are going to the domain on Braker and testing out the steeping room, to see how that works, I am skeptical, because hello I'm a fatty, and this is the domain ( snooty as hell *mall* that I bet has flimsy short backed uncomfortable chairs), but I am going to try it!

Anyways yall have a good day, I'm off to sleepy sleep land night!

Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.4

hand knit Christmas gifts :)

So i decided this year to hand knit all my Christmas presents, thus far I have completed one that shall be forever hidden as it is a failure that no amount of frogging can correct, and 5 full well done scarves, and 1 half finished scarf. :) they are beautiful in my opinion, what do you all think? ( posting from my phone, please forgive typos and grammar)

These pictures are not all of them, deleted some of the pics, before I blogged about it.
So anyways I am stoked yall, I have finally gotten on board the knitting train, and like I said earlier, I'm going to get a set of circs and nice fat wooden dpns, and try my hand at mittens ( harhar) and put my head to making a hat as well ( I'm so punny).

Will post more in next blog about everything else :)

Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.4

over a month gone

Daddy, I miss you so much...

it eats at me

I can't keep food down long, I'm told it's because of the Grief...

I want you back now, I want to wake up from this dream now...

you were always there to remind me to chin the hell up...

But I know that you are still here with me, because of little things, like yesterday, my tummy was REALLY upset, and a good friend brought me a milkshake out of the blue, like it was no big thing.. that was so amazing, it calmed my stomach and made me feel better... I knew it had to be you watching out for me.

I love you so much....

Please be happy where you are.

Day 10!

Hey Dad!!
It's day ten since you left for whereever we go after we die, and I was feeling really down last night, so I decided to cheer myself up with baking, and because your favorite breakfast was hot fresh blueberry muffins on the way to church, I made 60 of them, and passed them out to my team at work...

I did it because I wanted to feel a little closer to you, and I am really really glad that I did <3 I feel so much better now! I wish I knew more of your favorite foods, I know you loved Beef Stroganoff, but I don't think I'd make that well...

I will try though!

I'll make it for you and Eugene... you can eat it together!

Love you Dad,

Hope today is all smiles for you!

9 days

It's been 9 long long days since you left, and I'm not feeling any better, I was told that it will take time, but no one ever tells you how much time it will really take.

All I can really say for sure is that the amount of pain is equal to the amount of love.

I really really really miss you.

at work right now, and I can't help the stupid tears, it's killing me.

I need to talk to you about my son, he's been cutting himself, and it's getting worse, we are putting him into counseling, but I just don't know what to do, I was a cutter, before I met you and Mom, so I know that it's not because he wants to die, it's because he's in a lot of pain, or he just wants the attention, at this point I'm not sure which one it is....

he's had a damn good life, but I suppose anyone can be depressed about anything, regardless of how I see it...

UGH I don't know how to be more understanding, I honestly don't think that me being more understanding is what he needs! I think he needs his ass beat.

this is why I need to talk to you though, you would have some words of wisdom I know you would....

Can you talk people up there into installing a phone line please?

Love you Daddy, watch over Cassie, Merry, Annie, and Mom ok?

Dear Dad

You have been gone from this world for 5 whole days, it gets harder each day. It should get easier, but I guess that will take time, I keep thinking about calling you to say I love you, and I miss you, but you won't pick up the phone, and it is possible one of the girls or mom would, and they would cry to even hear it go off.... I am so saddened by this.

I am sorry to only send you sad letters, I will try to make them better soon.

For now I am counting my blessings, I will compile them into a different letter when I can see better, for now, too many tears are blinding me to make sense.

I love you daddy, and I hope you are well, and watching out for us...

Hugs and kisses!!

Sarah

Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.2

Dear Dad

Hey Dad,

I couldn't wait another day to write, I needed to get this out, I"m sitting here at work, remembering how amazing you were, I have all these wonderful memories of you.

The tears won't stop, so I'm smiling with tears streaming down my face, remembering how you helped me get ready for homecoming my sopphmore year, when we put your hair up and gave you the "Royal Treatment" you just took it, like the amazing Father you are.

I wish you didn't have to leave. I love you and I miss you.

April 30th 1969 to Ausgust 2nd 2011

Dear Dad,

It's been less than 24 hours since you passed, and I can't stop crying.

I figured I needed this, it's cathartic to write :) And this way it's like I'm telling you about my life.. I know you are reading this, I hear the Wifi in Heaven is perfect ;).

Lets start with the beginning!

I met you when I was 14, a sullen bratty willful teenaged girl who came to live with you and Cindy.. You know what had happened to me, I was damaged goods, but you took care of me.

I remember the first 6 months I followed Cindy around like a puppy dog, clinging to her like she was my life preserver, and you just let me do that, you let me heal slowly. Then I started realizing that you were there for me. You always were.

If I was crying you would pat my shoulder, if I was angry you'd let me be angry ( Unless it was Directed to Cindy LOL)

You taught me everything I should look for in a mate.

You were not my father by blood, but you ARE my father in the only ways that matter.

I can't really write much today because it hurts so much right now. It feels like my heart breaks, reforms and breaks again, over and over and over again, because you are gone.

I am so happy for you though Dad, you fought so hard for 2 years against your Neuroendocrine Cancer, I'm proud of you for that fight, and happy that you are no longer in pain.

The problem is that while you are no longer in pain, the rest of us can't seem to stop being in pain. I'm sure that you hate that, so I'm trying really hard to be strong and remember that you are happy now.

I love you Daddy, hope today is a good day in Heaven.

~Sarah~